Coromandel coast

We decided to get away for a few days to the Coromandel coast, specifically Hot water beach. We stayed at the holiday park, in a cute A frame cabin. The first evening we arrived around 3:30 and quickly stopped by the beach. It is a beautiful white sand beach with blue green water. 

Following check in, we went to the only place open to eat: called Puriangi winery. It was a rustic, local eatery that served a delisious wood fire pizza. We also played a game of Jenga and Kalani pet the very fat cat. There was another cat that Kalani described as having “angry” eyes but it turned out it was very old and had weepy eyes. It did look like it had “angry” eyes. That evening we watch kiwi TV for the first time and about 2 hours of news. We have not  watched the news since arriving and basically have no idea what is going on in the country. Sad I know. 

On the second day, we went to the only other place to eat for breakfast. Afterwards, we headed over with our shoves to the hot water beach. It took us a bit to figure out where it was but once the tide got low enough we started digging. Nate dug a nice sized hole near the top of the beach. The water was so hot sometimes that it would burn your skin. We layed in our pool for about an hour and a half. Other people started to come by and were eye Ing up our hole, enviously. It was really quite amazing to be relaxing in a nature hot pool within metres of the ocean. Nate and I even went swimming a few times when we got too hot. Now remember people, it is the middle of winter here and this morning we awoke to our car being totally frosted up. 

After lunch, we headed over to Cathedral cove. A famous cove for its exquisite beauty. Now the walk says its 35 min but of course we ran the entire way down and back. Kalani also decided he wanted to do sprint intervals on the way back. We are weird and impatient. The cove was very beautiful and picturesque. I have includes some pictures on facebook but they just do not do it justice. 

Our last day we spent most of the morning and lunch time at Hot Water beach. I had a very weird experience while we were there. I got such bad cramps that I actually had to stop walking and couldn’t move because they were so painful. There was a point were I felt like I might black out from pain or throw up. I have been fortunate in my life and not had much physical pain but I felt like I was in labour again. This was coupled with a cold I caught the day we left. I made it much worse though by getting so chilled today  walking in a bathing suit to and from the car. It sounds crazy but I could barely walk my body hurt so badly from being so cold. I obviously had a fever and I just got sicker following that. I can easily say that it is the sickest I have ever been as an adult. My body was on fire but I still felt cold, not exactly how I wanted to finish my time there. It also did a number on my mental state. We are all feeling a bit home sick and feeling terrible didn’t help. 

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Caring for those sensitive types 

Most of us have likely encountered some one who we would classify as being ‘overly sensitive’ or maybe ’emotionally needy’. These people can be very draining and some time require a lot of support. I should know, I am one. I have known for a few years that I am considered an empath, but I really had a light go on while reading a parenting magazine. The article talked about sensitive children and how they need help to deal with all the stimulus they experience in a day and how overwhelming dealing with other people’s emotional energy can be. As I read it, I thought, this is me. It explains why I find certain people overwhelming, like my son, but was never quite able to pin point what the reason was. I felt like a horrible parent because I do need breaks from him, with his constant talking and moving. It helped me understand why I found my job so draining and seemed to need more down time then other people. 

I have always felt things very deeply and can seemingly “feel” another person’s pain. To many people, that may sound weird but when I meet another empath, they know exactly what I mean. I found this quote that described an empath “empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world”  by Judith Orloff M.D. Or this description ” you either are an empath or you aren’t. It isn’t a trait that is learned. You are always open, so to speak, to process other people’s feelings and energy, which means that you really feel, and in many cases take on the emotions of others”. I think empath’s were created to be intimately in tune to our bodies, our environment and fellow human beings. 

Both of these descriptions capture fairly accurately, how it feels to feel, so intensely and to “feel” another’s emotional energy. This usually manifests itself by me crying for someone or being able to discern subtle changes in another’s emotional energy. I am that person who cries at every church service or in any touching commercial. I uses to hate it but now I just let myself cry. I have avoided giving my testimony at church though because I would cry too much.I also believe it is part of the reason why I go through periods of being very flat and feeling somewhat numb. It’s almost like my mind/body is giving me a break from ‘feeling’ so intensely, that I go through periods of being numb. 

 I often don’t stand up for myself, out of concern for the other person and how my actions/words might make them feel or look to others. This is something I struggle with because it leaves me feeling powerless. I have had to learn to have better boundaries because I want to help people but at the detriment to myself. 

So how do you care or support someone who is sensitive? 

1. Be there to listen and support, sometimes a lot. Since we have moved, I have had ups and downs.  Nate listens and encourages me. He let’s me have little melt downs because sometimes it just gets to be too much for me to contain. Some days, I think I must be draining for him to constantly encourage and I ask myself why am I not emotionally tougher. But I believe that by possessing the gifts of being an empath, I must also live with the negative side of feeling so intensely. That being said, it doesn’t mean I can’t learn to control my emotions better or that I am not trying to. It is always a work in progress to be more conscious of my thoughts, feelings and my power to change them. 

2. Give them space and don’t take it personally. I find I need alone time to regroup, especially if I have just worked a lot or spent a lot of time with people. Also, some times when I walk into a room or the gym, I feel overwhelmed and need a moment to organize myself before I go visit with people. I can see how this might be perceived as being snobby or bitchy but that’s not the reason. 

3. Encourage healthy coping mechanisms. It is a lot of work to deal with your own emotions, then add on trying to deal with the emotional energy of other people as well. As a teenager, I would use food to cope with the overwhelmingly, intense feelings I was experiencing which I didn’t know how to cope with. It gradually developed into an binge eating disorder, which took me years to overcome and move past from. A few years ago, I did a 12 step program called Freedom Sessions. It is for any one finding they are having trouble with life. It taught me healthy ways to cope, forgive and live in general. I highly recommend it to everyone, as it has something for everyone.