I attended my husband’s grandmothers’ funeral this weekend and it got me thinking about life obviously, (whenever someone dies we tend to focus on the living part) and I realized I have been living in a state of perpetual anticipation of the next catastrophe. The reason for this is I actually did endure a period of time were life constantly went wrong and ever time I thought it was over and I would utter the words “life is going okay or even good” something extremely stressful and completely out of my control would happen. It seriously would be like the next day some catastrophe would occur so now I am afraid to even let myself think those words. What I realized though is that by living in anticipation of the next catastrophe I never stop to just enjoy life and the good things going on right now in it. I find I also over react to what I deem as being “stressful” challenges in life that when compared to the stuff I endured before are laughable on the scale of stressful and possibilities of things that could go wrong. I guess living in survival mode for so long served a purpose when I was going through tremendously hard times but now that life is status quo and dare I say boring in comparison to the chaos of before. I believe  it’s time to let the walls down and stop and smell the proverbial roses and trust that God, who I profess to believe in and who got me through all the chaos is in control of the future and I can just relax and enjoy life. 


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